We Don't Talk Enough About Realtor Safety

September is Realtor Safety Month, and every year it gives our industry an opportunity to talk about something that I think about far more often than most people probably realize.

Being a real estate agent can be scary.

Our job regularly asks us to meet strangers in unfamiliar places. We walk into vacant houses alone. We meet prospective clients we've never seen before. We hold open houses where anyone can walk through the door. We drive to properties in rural areas where cell service may be questionable. We often work evenings and weekends, and sometimes we're walking through a house with someone we met for the first time ten minutes earlier.

At HomeGrown, safety is something we talk about. We have plans. We share locations and appointment information. There are texts between agents that essentially say, If you haven't heard from me by this time, start worrying.

We verify information. We use the tools available to us. We try to listen to our instincts.

And sometimes you can do all of that and still find yourself thinking, I need to get out of here.

The Appointment Where Everything Told Me to Leave

A few years ago, I went on what was supposed to be a listing appointment.

I had done my due diligence beforehand. I cross-referenced the owner's information, asked the right questions, and used a safety platform provided to us through our Virginia Realtor association, which I remain incredibly grateful to have as a resource. Before leaving, I also told another agent in my office where I was going and gave her a timeframe for when she should be concerned if she hadn't heard from me.

On paper, I had done what I was supposed to do.

Then I arrived.

I walked past a baseball bat on my way into the home. The windows were covered. Almost immediately, something in me started saying that this wasn't right.

From that point forward, I wasn't thinking about getting a listing. I was thinking about getting back to my car.

The homeowner asked me to sit beside him on the couch. I declined and chose a chair instead. I kept myself between him and the exit and started making excuses to shorten the appointment, explaining that I had really just stopped by to drop off information and needed to leave.

When I stood up, he moved close to me and attempted to expose himself.

I kept moving toward the door.

On my way out, I noticed one of my marketing postcards hanging on his refrigerator. He told me he kept it there because he liked looking at my picture. He offered me a cocktail and marijuana. When I refused, he told me a story about beating his sister's boyfriend with a baseball bat to “teach him a lesson.”

The same kind of bat I had walked past on my way inside.

Eventually, I made it to my car. He followed me outside and circled the vehicle, repeatedly trying to get me to roll down my window.

I didn't.

I got out of that driveway, notified my local Realtor association about what had happened, and never went back.

And then I took a few days off.

Because even when you get out safely, your body and your brain don't necessarily leave the situation as quickly as your car does.

But It Isn't Always a Stranger

My second experience looked completely different.

I had organized a training I was really excited about. It went well, and afterward several agents and industry partners went to lunch together. It was supposed to be one of those good days... education, networking, conversation with other people in the business.

As people gradually left, I found myself with another real estate agent who had been drinking too much and had become increasingly inappropriate.

I was repeatedly asked for “just one kiss.”

I repeatedly said no.

What had started as a professional event turned into me trying to figure out how to get out of an uncomfortable situation without being left alone with someone whose behavior had changed. I called friends for reinforcement. I tried to redirect the conversation. And I wrestled with this strange feeling that I shouldn't leave another agent stranded while another part of me was screaming that I just wanted to leave.

Eventually, that became the only thing that mattered.

I wanted out.

That experience stuck with me for a different reason. We talk a lot about safety when meeting strangers. We're trained to think about the unknown buyer, the vacant property, the open house or the appointment in an unfamiliar location.

It's harder to acknowledge that sometimes the person making you feel unsafe can be someone within your own professional circle.

Safety Is More Than a Checklist

I wish I could tell new agents that if they verify someone's identity, share their location, use a safety app and follow every recommended procedure, they'll never find themselves in a dangerous situation.

I can't.

Those things matter enormously, and we should absolutely do them. But my first experience taught me that safety procedures reduce risk... they don't eliminate it.

It also taught me to trust the little voice that says something isn't right.

You don't owe someone politeness at the expense of your safety. You don't have to finish the appointment. You don't have to worry about appearing rude. You don't need enough evidence to prove that something bad is about to happen before you're allowed to leave.

The listing isn't worth it.

The commission isn't worth it.

The networking opportunity isn't worth it.

Your safety is worth more than the transaction.

This Is Part of Real Estate Too

There are beautiful parts of this career that I talk about all the time. Helping someone buy their first home. Putting a sold sign in the yard. Watching clients build lives in places you helped them find. Building relationships throughout the Shenandoah Valley and getting to be part of people's stories.

But this is part of the job too.

It's the location-sharing. The safety plans. The check-in texts. The awareness of where the exits are. The decision not to let someone get between you and a door. The friend you call because you don't want to be alone. The appointment where something feels wrong even though you can't quite explain why.

And occasionally, it's the thought we don't like saying out loud:

What if this appointment is the one I don't come home from?

September being Realtor Safety Month gives us a reason to talk about it, but I don't want safety to be something our industry thinks about for thirty days and then puts away until next year.

I want agents to talk about the uncomfortable appointments. I want brokerages to have safety plans before they're needed. I want new agents to know that leaving is always an option. I want us to look out for one another, even in spaces where we're supposed to already be among colleagues and friends.

And I want consumers to understand that when an agent asks for identification, requires an appointment, asks you to meet at an office first, verifies information, or follows another safety procedure, it isn't because we don't trust you personally.

It's because we don't always know who is on the other side of the door.

I've had experiences that reminded me just how real that risk can be.

So we verify. We communicate. We make plans. We watch out for each other. We trust our instincts.

And when something inside us says get out...

we listen.

Ashley Dudley | Broker Owner HomeGrown Real Estate

ashley.dudley@homegrownreva.com

540.271.1655